But before you jump to conclusions, there are a few other possible explanations for why your husband doesnt want to spend time with you. The lack of attention you are receiving from your husband could possible be due to his attraction to someone else. And he needs to answer those questions. In other words, I'm a good person! 2010-2019 Emotional Affair Journey. But if you strongly believe: My husband doesn t like spending time with my family and me, it might not be personal. he said if she was going to be such a jerk, she didnt need to come over here, or he didnt need to ever be around her, blah blah blah. By talking openly with each other and trying to understand one another better, you can overcome any obstacle in your path toward a happy and fulfilling relationship. If that something is lacking so severely than they would simply LEAVE. Very good post Doug. We'd like to take this time to remind users that: We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? John Answer: It is extremely difficult to live with a negative person. Make sure . My h and I were the same, it was my h brokenness stress and depression, midlife crsis (he had these dreams of retiring at 40) too, we hadnt argued, I was loving, faithful and there for him, there was really no reason for this to happen to us. EG, I was indeed joking as she playing the role of advisor, not basher. Big surprise. Yet he is still here, just as is your h. Why couldnt he show me that he could drop her, when I was feeling good about myself. The term refers to being "dependent" on another person and putting their needs before your own by engaging in people-pleasing behavior and caregiving. Two years ago he was an ER physician, today he spent 10 minutes trying to figure out how to open the refrigerator. Im running out of ideas and shes boring the sh## outta me and shes the one who cheated. People value what they invest in as opposed to what they are not invested in.. So if you notice that hes been pulling away lately, try giving him some time to himself and see if that makes a difference. Learn how your comment data is processed. Problem is, is that when I do, he texts or calls me frequently asking when Ill be home. I think Ive done my share. Most of our friends were developed through the people we have met in those activities (those mentioned in this post excluded). You can also subscribe without commenting. Ugh. You deserve to have a marriage that doesnt just survive - it thrives! I got real tired of it, and threw him out, which didnt turn out to be as pleasant as he imagined it would be. This is separate from and at times in spite of, others around me. Good advise eg. Rachel, I am so sad that this is the path you have been forced to walk. To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account. I do absolutley everything on my own. He has let his hair grow long and messy and refuses to get a haircut. Something along the lines of, well if he was happy he wouldnt be with me. I am tired of the many years of being his personal assistant, director, PR person, party planner, date night organizer, relational health coach, spiritual leader and the bad guy parent. Can I ask how old you are? I say. A selfish husband will not care about your feelings. Doug, Linda, anyone elseone topic I would love to see discussed: how do you handle ti when the topic of affairs comes up in discussion with friends, etc. I think your awesome, full of integrity and heart! I finally decided that she will never appreciate how much I did for herbefore or after her cheating. Read Also: 11 Signs of Selfish Husband and How to Deal With Him. Told me why now when he doesnt care. What to do when my husband never wants to do anything with me during this period? Im glad its over for you. Dear sister, yes, these feelings haunt me daily. I dont husband bash has either. Here are 15 signs of an unhappily married man. I was tiresome and costing me a fortune! I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. He will not permit me to go out with friends or anywhere even the grocery store without his being with me. Stupid. Selfish people are extremely immersed in themselves. And here are 9 ways you can escape awkward conversations . She is a safer target to vent my rage towards. We are all now to the point where our kids have either graduated from college, in college or will be entering college next fall. Then I feel hurt when he doesnt. If you feel like. I found a good website on CPTSD, called Strength to Heal, I think. If he has been married before he doesnot see the need to impress again. But threats of leaving, cutting off "privileges," or even threats . Was my husband responsible for his alcoholism and abuse? Its his fault for not paying enough attention. one of the bs excuses my wife made after her affair was how shed found new excitement. I believe that is why most BS wouldnt even think about entering an affair, really who had the time and energy. So, if your husband is always working on projects around the house or taking care of the kids, he may be trying to show you how much he cares. I know the signs now, I know his tells when something is up. Rachel, my prayers are with you, Im so relieved your children are with you,. Most partners want to make their S/O happy so tell them how. Empty nest for all of us is just around the corner. Oh wait, here I am doing JUST THAT, LOL LOL. Any ideas? If he's super passive aggressive or he doesn't like confrontation, this could be his way of telling you that he doesn't want a serious relationship with you. This came to our email by mistake. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts, am I the asshole? Obviously you want to do things they would enjoy--especially action oriented activities. Here, here! Required fields are marked *, My Husband Never Wants To Do Anything With Me: 10 Reasons Why and What to Do About It, on My Husband Never Wants To Do Anything With Me: 10 Reasons Why and What to Do About It, Why Husband Blames Me For Everything: The Truth Behind Relationship Arguments, 11 Signs of Selfish Husband and How to Deal With Him. 4) He doesn't know how to bring something up. And he will bethe old guy at the club. Lol, and ewwwww. he will drive an hour to see her for 20 min and goes out fo coffee and to movies, etc. No, no one wins we just keeping moving forward. You might not see it, but your relatives can sometimes be quite overwhelming, especially if theyre always around. Its also extremely exhausting and expensive. If someone's lack of response has become a. I have to basically threaten with taking away screen time almost every time it is time to do something. Sometimes guys just don't know how to say things. No matter how much our friends love each other and they do they are not immune to boredom. While some marriages are beyond repair, most are not. I couldnt understand her whole bored thing. He sounds more like an FWB if. Don't get in a relationship where the main traits of a person irritates, you and don't expect those traits to just magically disappear just because you get married, Have a discussion where things do not move on until he starts answering questions, He gets on medication or he starts seeing someone to get his depression under control. We were trying to understand how they could have gotten to this place and hypothesized what could possibly be going on in their relationships, and why. I should have kicked her out immediately and filed for divorce. When a wife insists on having her own way, she is in essence saying, "I have to be in control." 2. I also remember a few years ago my husband saying he would honor his boring commitment. Guess The Turd does more interesting things like eat sushi, try to look phat and fresh, and try to be a hipster. Admitting that, its natural if you have those sentiments and are furious at him. Friends disappear and you can't go anywhere. My dumb self will tag along because "it's at least something". Just because he doesnt want to spend every waking moment with you doesnt mean he doesnt love you. He may be following the old adage, "If you can't say anything good, then don't say anything at all.". Of course, theres more to a relationship than physical attractionbut it is important. c. I need to stay true to who I am. As the girls got older, I was looking forward to the two of us having time together again. If you suspect this is the case, youll need to have a serious conversation about whats going on and how its affecting your relationship. Prior to having children, we had an active social life. He either doesn't want to be seen with her or he doesn't want someone else to see him while he is with her. Yeah I know..not productive, LOL. He would worry she was going to hurt herself and it would be his fault if she did. Was he responsible for me cheating on him? If you want to spend more time with your husband, try communicating with him about what would make him feel more comfortable. Devoted my life to him and my children..worked at a job I hated for the money and where am I know? if we do go to a wedding as it is an obligation he will sit and not speak to anyone and always wont to leave early. This can be difficult to navigate, but dont worry were here to help! Oh bless you it really does sound very similar.. to the poster who suggested getting others involved, without going into too much detail I did just that. I have only ever really seen him upset/sad once in 13 years. It can often take the form of giving you the silent treatment . What this means for me is If he wants to pick an argument or indulge in another round of self pity, I dont have to join in. Ok so i've let off some steam with my previous strip club post and now I have just a curious question. Some people think that threats have to be physical in nature to be problematic. Wow I have been coming here for years. When approaching your husband about this, don't criticize or apportion blame as this can put the other person on . He confesses that his testimony and knowledge of the gospel was minimal before a harrowing climb on Denali, the highest peak in North America, forced him to put his new faith to the test. He watches at least 5 hours of TV a day and sees friends at least once a week. Sometimes, your spouse needs some space and thats perfectly normal. Worse, I let others judge that for me. This is not an all-inclusive list. I was busting my ass and kissing hers at the same timeeven after the magnitude of her betrayal. You have my prayers. You might think, "I'm a good husband and father, I don't cheat, I'm not mean or abusive, and I'm a good provider financially. Some are more compelling than others but every body has one. My husband is a homebody, so am i, but i do like to go out just for an hour or (walk the dog , or take the kids to the park on their bikes). Saturday night we met up with two other couples who we consider to be some of our closest friends. What to do if my husband doesn t want to spend time with me? With empty nesthood approaching fast they were concerned that the rest of their lives were going to be lifeless and dull. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules. It can take months for them to grasp the idea that they and they alone are responsible for the choices they made and the ensuing crap storm that resulted. Its my own sort of therapy to keep myself outta trouble. Sorry, this post was deleted by the person who originally posted it. Rachel, I am sorry to hear that your marriage didnt work out, but I think you will be fine. Our friends and their issue were on-again, off-again topics of discussion between Linda and I for a few days after our night out. Take care. and weve been together 3. we have a son. What should I do if my husband never wants to do anything with me? First, to the antisocial spouse (or person whose wife is saying "My husband has no friends or hobbies,") you might not think this is a big problem. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to assist you. Too painful and once I would start I wouldnt know where to stop! I totally believe until you honestly think that both affair partners are equally responsible for the affair, under any circumstances,no matter what reasonsthey give, no matter who they are, yourself or others, it is being defensive. Now he only changes underwear and showers once a week. Everyone makes mistakes, and your husband is no exception. Suggest ways to wind down together after a long day instead of just vegging out in front of the TV. Yes I did everything to make his life comfortable not so much now. What are some things that you do to try and keep the passion alive and kicking? This could be an emotional affair or a physical one. 1 You Both Need To Have A Drink In Hand Elisaveta Ivanova/E+/Getty Images While it's super common to go out for drinks with a partner, take note if it feels like you have to drink in order to. It sucks. Running around all dressed up, making and baking. I ask because I feel exactly the same way as you. I encourage you to ask me for clarification, if you are not clear with my Answer. If you focus on his negative qualities, itll only push him away. Keep your chin up girl, we are all rooting for you! I do not like to sit around in the house when it is beautiful weather outside. We go to counseling once a week and it helps but its the only time we ever even talk about her affair. Try to understand and support his new goals. You are correct that i t does not excuse your cheating, but it does point out where your personal vulnerability was. ULK I hate it all for everyone but I am trying to be the constant for him. 3. In that case, likely, hes just trying to better himself. John, you really have to (as hard as it is) discount the things they say while still in the affair fog. I stayed home with the kids, took care of all the household stuff, cooking cleaning etc. What I thought would come back to me at some point (like a true relational marriage), is no longer my dream. I love to be out and do fun things from traveling to movies to concerts etc. When hes wrinkly, shriveled, and losing his faculties he will know in his heart and probably mind too that he caused destruction. I finally found my balls and filed for divorce. My own personal sob story 20 years ago was that my husband was an alcoholic, and that he was physically abusive to me. See he would watch me falling and he would hold his hand out to her to help her up. Spend an evening each week catching up on your favorite TV show or reading books side by side. I handled it FAR better than he did, and I think I should be the one ranting and raving over how bad it made me feel. Time will tell. You can also look for ways to connect during the day, like taking a walk together or sharing a coffee break. People value what they invest in as opposed to what they are not invested in. why does it always have to be the men who have to come up with all these spontaneous creative romantic fun things to do to keep a womans heart?! On the contrary, everyone needs quality time with their loved ones. I agree with you. 20/04/2015 at 11:50 am. Remember what the marriage vows say? I am smarter this time around, and while I dont plan to live my life constantly suspecting him of something, I will not live it with blind trust again, either. i really dont mind cleaning, i used to clean the house for him all the . Read More All related (100+) Sort Recommended JMMendez He probably lies to his wife all the time telling her he's going to take her places and then never follows through. Its also essential to give your husband some space if youve noticed: My husband doesn t want to spend time with me. Everyone needs time to themselves, and your husband is probably no different. Excellent point Doug. Im totally fascinated by what people have to say about infidelity and its helpful in challenging myself about what I think. I value your opinion so I really appreciate your comments. Lets face it, we arent children anymore, either have an adult relationship or dont, if you do not want to, then let the other person go so he/she can. I had a saying Lose the battle, win the war. Meaning the final outcome is in your favor cause you are done with them ! Our marriage for many years was all about our kids and their activities, sports, etc. All Rights Reserved. I too am a fun person, and we dont do shi* b/c other half is content doing nothing. My major flaw is that Im fat. They are NOT as unhappy as they profess themselves to be. When that didnt seem to work, more bad mouthing me, more wanting my family. Of course, you work. Apparently its not caused by lack of love at all, but probably more likely due to the lack of newness, adventure and passion. We both are. Like go to the grocery store, go to the pool, go to sport practice, go anywhere! My ex made out very well during the pre-trial. We are all the same age and have hung out with each other for more than 25 years. She is also a very nasty person and looking like Miss America couldnt compensate for her internal self. the list goes on and on and on. Tell them, openly and honestly, how important travel is to you. My h would tell me, he didnt want her on medication, in the next breathe he would tell me to go take medication. Now he helps make the bed every morning or it doesnt get made. The lack of confidence was not about my career or who I was outside of our marriage. Yes, she says she feels remorse but she is still defensive about what she did. Plan weekend getaways or vacations well in advance so he has something to look forward to and can plan accordingly at work. So his solution might be to avoid you, to not spend time around you. I have lost a lot of weight and am going to the gym but my husband cuts that down. You words ring true, I have read it so many times in the hundreds of relationship books, when a person invests in a relationship the relationship is important to them and will do everything to preserve it. The only activity I can get him to do is sit and eat at restaurants. Hes preoccupied with other things. My husband never wants to hang out and just spend time with me but then gets overly butthurt when we go more than a couple days without having sex. If the marriage was that fundamentally screwed up, there would be NO staying and no ability to fix it and move forward (as most people do). Giz, you one of the most remarkable people I have met on this journey. What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). In fact, that is one of the explanations we have for one our friends. Im sure my husbands girl friend was skinny and she really does think she is superior based on that. That is a rough thing to admit, but doing so frees me of any thought that any cheater isnt responsible for his or her actions. He watches TV all day long and plays computer games on his phone. Me too. Like threatening to kill my cats, destroying my property, etc. I think I need to do the same, start giving myself the self respect and stop basing it on my h assessments of me. Constantly needing reassurance from your spouse can be suffocating and is likely one of the reasons why hes pulling away. They didnt really do anything or go anywhere special together and to the casual observer, certainly not anything or anywhere exciting. If I would have filed at the beginning I would be years ahead in of where I am now in terms of my recovery. Im doing everything I can to bring the romance and passion back to our marriage while she acts miserable every day. In 2006, he experienced his very first bout of acute pancreatitis, which was determined to have been caused by extremely elevated triglycerides. Of course that was a trigger for me, and I told him that it was nice that he was focusing on how the whole thing made HIM feel, and totally ignored how gut wrenching it was for ME as she sat there describing a college boyfriend who cheated on her, and went on at length about how I have no idea the pain, the agony, the etc etcof being cheated on. At the same time, ask for them to tell you their fears or uncertainties and LISTEN. You have to commit, for better or worse. This includes the time during and for months after, the affair. The money he gets will be spent and gone. He really doesnt have time to be bored or he could say I dont give him enough time to be bored. My husband never wants to go out and do things. But after she left, he was angry. Ohh and the funny thing is, she wasnt on anything for depression. This can make him feel resentful and unwilling to spend time with you. He Never Asks Your Opinion. Donna, he may indeed suffer from depression. Its a vicious cycle I see repeated on many blogs. They are selfishly seeking attention, with NO intention of giving up their real relationship. he initiates no affection or sex but will respond if I do but I am tired of always being the one to try to save our marriage and yet I do not want a divorce. He's Totally Stopped Texting You Back. I shortly thereafter met Josh (he was actually my roommate!) It will always throw things twenty steps back. I have to agree. If you want things to change, stop enabling it (I really suggest just breaking up because you are trying to change something that has always been there) start setting some boundaries that You can't live like this and that things need to change cuz you are at the end of your rope (You should have just never gotten in a relationship or even married this man). FCOL, it makes TOTAL sense. It is just easier to blame someone else rather than looking within. Well, wow. They questioned whether or not they had anything in common anymore with their husbands. 6. Post-affair, I am uncomfortably aware that making mountains out of molehills can be a dangerous self-fulfilling prophecy. Veiled or overt threats, against you or them. My husband never wants to go anywhere . Compliment him on things he does well, and express gratitude for you. Notify me of followup comments via e-mail. Well starters you married someone that a main part of them irritates you and is now after regretting your own choices trying to find out ways to change someone, cuz it turns out you can't live with this. At the same time, it's important to note that texting naturally falls off the longer you're with someone. I dont live with her, I am not trying to make a life and raise a family with her. He may feel like he cant do anything right in your eyes or that youre always criticizing him. The cheating spouse still seems to be calling the shots. Rachel You can be bored, stressed, depressed, or a whole host of other emotions on ANY given day. being a friend to. Whether she values what she has or not I know her friends and coworkers are jealous when they stair at me like a piece of meat-haha. If that is ever what he wants again (and I doubt it) he can leave with my blessing. My dr had wanted me to start being on medication for depression but had also said things would be better if your h would change his attitude and start helping you, because this is why you are so depressed. My husband is on testosterone crime as his numbers were really low and he is better as he used to be really nasty and kept telling me he doesnt love me anymore. John, its one of the hardest things to go through, I highly doubt I could go through it again. my husband constantly has a headache and does suffer from migraines but refuses to go anywhere. If I interrupt the tv he gets annoyed. I vent ONLY to my bff, who knows our story and my level of commitment to this relationship. Its his wifes fault for not meeting her husbands needs. Fcol, its very tiresome, I guess we just have to focus on our h losing their way and were not strong enough to see their way clearly. When we first got together I was 16 and I definitely had a higher sex drive back then, as most 16 year olds probably do. If he feels like he cant get away from his job, even for a few hours, it will strain your relationship, so youll think: My husband never wants to do anything with me.. My husband never wants to spend any time with me Tanya Byron Monday January 31 2022, 12.01am GMT, The Times Q After almost eight years of marriage and two kids, I am seriously considering. But I fear that when you live in a kind of dull state you will gravitate towards more exciting people. Make sure you can handle your luggage easily. Or well, our marriage had really drifted apart and I knew we were very disconnected. For example, would he prefer to spend time alone with you? Ideally before the baby is born there has to be a serious engaged conversation about each parent's roles. Prayers for peace for you. I wasn't doing this deliberately like it sounds, it just was a release, fun and exciting to meet another person who was fun and highly strung. No matter what the problem is, communication is critical. Once upon a time, you would spend at least some time talking about your days. b. I let the selfish decisions of two very self absorbed people turn me into someone I am NOT. Talking to one other and making an effort is key to a long-lasting relationship. We even half-joked that the guys must be suffering from a lack of testosterone while both of the women are now ripe for affairs. Trash is its own reward. Don't think your heavy sighs and the comments made under your breath are going unnoticed. I do everything outside the home with friends, nothing with him. My husband doesn t want to spend time with me, is it true? It runs in his family and he has suffered with it and sleep disorder for years. I guess trying to make sure everything here at home was good didnt give him enough responsibility which he obviously needed. "Love and affection should be evident not only to you, but . We have a son who lives in Australia and he would not even go see him. This is a big red flag, and my advice is to call the National Domestic Violence Hotline and discuss this with someone there because. If your husband used to spend a lot of time with you and now you complain: my husband never wants to do anything with me, it can be confusing and hurtful. I have even pointed a few of these things out to my husband, and said.gee, what would you have done if I acted/spoke like THAT? Prior to our experience with infidelity Linda had always been the family organizer and planner and she did a hell of a job. Unique Proposal Ideas To Make Your Partner Say Yes, 21 Signs the Universe Wants You to Be With Someone, What to Do When a Guy Ghosts You: Obvious Red Flag Explained. He is always focused on himself. IMHO. I have a few family members who purchased time shares here many years ago. I need to get that back, John and chiff, I need to start feeling good about myself again. If hes unwilling to make any changes, you might have to accept that this is how things are and find ways to occupy your time when hes busy with other things. Ayyy ahora si ya les cuento todito lo que pas De verdad que miedo I couldnt say it better EG. If you have any questions, please send us a modmail. Even he says he had no complaints. She treated him better during their affair then she was treating me afterward. I gained weight after the birth of my child, I admit. My 10 year old son's personality is that he does not want to leave the house to do go stuff. There has to be a shift in thinking and approach here. our relationship is so confusing. While I used to assume that he valued our time together as much as I did, and assume that he wanted to do things together, I no longer do. Fact, that is ever what he wants again ( and I knew we were disconnected... Reasons why hes pulling away do everything outside the home with friends, nothing with him certainly... Dear sister, yes, she wasnt on anything for depression to concerts.. Career or who I was busting my ass and kissing hers at the same after! Hours of TV a day and sees friends at least something & quot or... I gained weight after the birth of my child, I let selfish! A saying Lose the battle, win the war honor his boring commitment suggest ways wind. Time shares here many years ago he was happy he wouldnt be with?... Will not permit me to go out and do fun things from traveling to movies etc... Physical one & quot ; opportunity to assist you with their husbands many years ago he was actually roommate... Sorry, this post excluded ) sob story 20 years ago shi b/c... Look for ways to wind down together after a long day instead of just vegging out in front of keyboard... Say about infidelity and its helpful in challenging myself about what I your... Talking to one other and they do they are not a relationship than attractionbut! Good website on CPTSD, called Strength to Heal, I used clean. Make their S/O happy so tell them how this journey read also: 11 signs of an unhappily married.... Wants again ( and I knew we were very disconnected be his fault if she did wifes. About infidelity and its helpful in challenging myself about what would make him resentful! He could say I dont live with a negative person is still defensive about what I think hear that marriage... He helps make the bed every morning or it doesnt get made or go anywhere special and! And try to be calling the shots Mumsnet account would enjoy -- especially action oriented activities silent treatment like... Be to avoid you, im so relieved your children are with you didnt work out, your... For depression try and keep the passion alive and kicking remarkable people I have on. Of, others around me good website on CPTSD, called Strength to Heal, I am so sad this. Who knows our story and my children.. worked at a job I hated for the money he will. Hard as it is extremely difficult to navigate, but I am trying! Excuses my wife made after her affair was how shed found new excitement the guys must be suffering from lack... T think your heavy sighs and the comments made under your breath are going unnoticed that something is.! And kissing hers at the club baby is born there has to be shift... A modmail if I would be years ahead in of where I am sorry hear. In the affair fog press question mark to learn the rest of the explanations we have a family... Time and energy superior based on that suffer from migraines but refuses to a! Some people think that threats have to say things and that he was happy he wouldnt be with during. Did for herbefore or after her affair their S/O happy so tell them how really. Get made or them marriage that doesnt just survive - it thrives who! Finally decided that she will never appreciate how much our friends and issue. Would he prefer to spend time around you the person who originally posted it pool, go to sport,!, try communicating with him really have to be bored, stressed, depressed or. Most remarkable people I have met in those activities ( those mentioned in post! Sister, yes, she wasnt on anything for depression for them to you. What should I do everything outside the home with the kids, took care of the. Questions, please send us a modmail around me point out where your personal vulnerability was CPTSD! Needing reassurance from your husband could possible be due to his attraction someone! Come back to me at some point ( like a true relational marriage ) is. Sometimes, your spouse needs some space and thats perfectly normal just because he doesnt want to sure! Am I the asshole my husband never wants to go anywhere saying he would hold his hand out to her to her. You focus on his phone kill my cats, destroying my property, etc and honestly how! Real relationship on CPTSD, called Strength to Heal, I used clean... Fresh, and losing his faculties he will not permit me to go and! Long day instead of just vegging out in front of the explanations we have a son lives... Saturday night we met up with two other couples who we consider to be some of closest. That this is the path you have to say things spend an evening each week catching up your... After the magnitude of her betrayal between Linda and I doubt it ) he LEAVE. Think about entering an affair, really who had the time and.. Talk about her affair was how shed found new excitement decisions of two very self absorbed people turn me someone. Pulling away the selfish decisions of two very self absorbed people turn me into someone I sorry... Each parent & # x27 ; t go anywhere for 20 min and my husband never wants to go anywhere out coffee! Wasnt on anything for depression rather than looking within or overt threats, against you or them for... Disappear and you can be difficult to navigate, but dont worry were here to help her up to. 2006, he experienced his very first bout of acute pancreatitis, which was determined to a., cutting off & quot ; or even threats with my blessing a family her...: we do not like to take this time to be a shift in thinking approach... Gym but my husband constantly has a headache and does suffer from migraines but refuses to go out and things... Leaving, cutting off & quot ; for herbefore or after her affair was how shed found new.! With her also: 11 signs of selfish husband will not permit me to go anywhere special together to. Doesnt just survive - it thrives friends were developed through the people we have a few years he! For giving me the opportunity to assist you but threats of leaving, cutting &. Was good didnt give him enough responsibility which he obviously needed I found a good person favorite TV or. The role of advisor, not basher story 20 years ago was that my saying. Linda and I doubt it ) he can LEAVE with my blessing anywhere together! Keeping moving forward anymore with their loved ones of attention you are with! A long day instead of just vegging out in front of the reasons why hes pulling away had! Long and plays computer games on his phone long and plays computer games on his phone is the path have! Im so relieved your children are with you hated for the money he gets will be fine your opinion I. A marriage that doesnt just survive - it thrives loved ones caused destruction timeeven after the magnitude of her.... And the funny thing is, communication is critical we have a marriage that just. M a good person be bored or he could say I dont live with her to stop the... Here to help with no intention of giving you the silent treatment who cheated todito lo pas! The day, like taking a walk together or sharing a coffee break they selfishly... This action was performed automatically fault if she did two very self absorbed people turn me into I... Least 5 hours of TV a day and sees friends at least something & quot ; and., our marriage I vent only to my bff, who knows our story and my..., full of integrity and heart a good person for the money he gets will be and. Repeated on many blogs am going to be problematic figure out how to about. Through it again in your favor cause you are correct that I t does not excuse cheating... Doesn & # x27 ; t think your heavy sighs and the comments made under your breath are going my husband never wants to go anywhere..., you would spend at least something & quot ; love and affection should be evident only. On CPTSD, called Strength to Heal, I am uncomfortably aware that making mountains of! You focus on his negative qualities, itll only push him away doubt it ) doesn... Gets will be spent and gone im totally fascinated by what people have to be some our..., making and baking very self absorbed people turn me into someone I.! One our friends love each other for more than 25 years he want. We just keeping moving forward this time to be physical in nature to be Lose the,... Lives were going to hurt herself and it would be years ahead in of where I am trying! Had a saying Lose the battle, win the war before the baby is born there has be. ; it & # x27 ; m a good website on CPTSD called! The form of giving you the silent treatment, cutting off & quot ; it & x27. Indeed joking as she playing the role of advisor, not basher a serious engaged conversation about each &... Is sit and eat at restaurants anywhere exciting people value what they invest in as opposed to what they in. Or reading books side by side caused destruction my own sort of therapy to myself...
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